Although the same social protocols apply to fostering an online attraction, dating on the web can be tricky since their implementation is a bit different. Mastering non-verbal communication skills in addition to a non-reliance on body language can take months and hundreds of dollars on dead-end dates, a pain I’ve begrudgingly taken upon myself. As such I’ve compiled a list designed to help the virtual Casanova make the jump from online zero to romantic hero.

1. Joining a Site

Do: Join a few different dating site at first. Dating sites vary from very general to niche sites that are designed for a group like single parents or Christians. Be sure to join at least one of each in order to objectively establish your comfort zone. After a little time you will know which site(s) is best for you.

Don’t: Pay for a membership until you have received a decent response rate. Most sites offer a free sign-up but won’t allow email or chat communication with other members until a fee is paid. You might pay for a dating site only to later realize that its interface is not user-friendly or that there are simply no members in your area.

2. Creating a profile

Do: Post at least 150 words. Be sure to accurately exemplify your personality and interests. Use humor and wit to entice a possible mate and leave out the sob story about your ex. If you like model airplanes and Foghat then find a clever way to say so. Also, post a minimum of 3 pictures that illustrate your best look, your group of friends, and you doing something you love (hiking, fishing, snowboarding, etc). The better your pics, the higher your hits.

Don’t: Stay away from pictures with frowning or "tough-guy" poses, these will only arouse suspicion and make you look like a predator. Don’t ever lie and stay away from embellishment. If you don’t snowboard, then don’t mention snowboarding. Most importantly, never mention old relationships or heartbreak stories. Doing so is akin to tattooing LOSER on your forehead and walking around with your zipper down.

3. Flirting with Other Members

Do: Wink as often as possible. Most internet dating sites offer a free communication tool called a wink (or a flirt) where members can show interest in each other with a pre-written email designed. Since winks are the primary method by which other members will notice your profile you must get in the habit of sending a lot of winks. Send 10 winks per weekday for 1 month you will have sent 200 winks. If only a mere one percent of all members at whom you have winked showed interest, you’d meet two brand- new love interests every month.

Don’t: Email before winking. A direct email before attraction is solidified is as welcome as a phone call at dinner time. Doing so exemplifies a non-interest in attraction and may irreversibly turn-off a potential mate. Conversely, don’t pre-judge an attractive dating personals profile due to some personal neurosis. If you see someone you’re attracted to but they live in Magna- wink anyway. You never know what treasure’s you’ll find if you keep digging.

4. Emailing Potential Mates

Do: Send a short, personal email to anyone who returns a wink. Emailing is an essential part of internet dating because email is the primary vehicle by which you will move from digital contact to physical contact. As such, an effective email campaign will get you to a date faster than a bad one. Be brief. Include information that references their interests or profile, builds attraction, and features a joke or witty remark. Try to keep your first email within two paragraphs or three short stanzas and ask a question in order to engage the target.

Don’t: Write a personal narrative. Only hopeless people have time to write a 3-page diatribe to a stranger so a lengthy, dry, or overly inquisitive email will create an impression of desperation and loneliness. The first email is not the time to share your dating personals story or heartbreak. Additionally, avoid cheesy clichés and don’t over-compliment.

5. The First Meet

Do: Meet in a well-lit public place for a maximum of 90 minutes and go Dutch. The meet can be an incredibly awkward experience since it will be the first time you see the member without being surrounded by text or graphics so find a venue conducive to conversation (not stuffing food in your mouth). Be prepared with conversational topics to interject and avoid awkward silences like the plague by using a cheat sheet.

Don’t: Don’t call it a date. This could be a topic by itself. As the first meet is riddled with error opportunities you must go into it with the idea that less is more. You are not free personals dating yet, you are simply meeting. Therefore it is not a date. My first meet with my wife lasted 20 minutes, we established attraction, set another meet, and said goodbye.

Additionally, don’t go to dinner or a movie, don’t buy roses or coffee or anything for the other person, don’t stay longer than 90 minutes, don’t over-compliment and definitely, don’t shake hands. Shaking hands is something friends do and if you’re looking to meet "friends" on the Internet you’re wasting your time. Keep in mind that your goal here is to establish attraction and set a real date. If you spend too much time with 1950’s free personals dating clichés you will be eaten alive. Stay fresh, stay cool, and don’t stay long. Remain somewhat of a mystery and you can always send an email to your mate acknowledging that you had a great time.

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